


Everything that Happened in "Matt the Radar Technician" Except Hux is There

by kawaiinokyojin



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Inappropriate Use of the Force, Just bury me in oblivious hux, M/M, Matt the radar technician - Freeform, Oblivious hux is oblivious, Wingman Phasma, also hux constantly wrestling with gay thoughts, throw me into the sun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 19:13:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5796481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaiinokyojin/pseuds/kawaiinokyojin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt was absolutely nothing. Matt was infinitely replaceable. Matt was just a minor cog in the well-oiled machine that was the First Order.</p><p>Matt was cute as hell.</p><p>Damn it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything that Happened in "Matt the Radar Technician" Except Hux is There

**Author's Note:**

  * For [manateemuffin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manateemuffin/gifts).



Day 2. No one had figured out that Matt the Radar Technician was actually Kylo Ren. Well, that wasn't quite true. Everyone had figured out that Matt the Radar Technician was actually Kylo Ren. Between the seemingly permanent scowl, piercing glare, random force usage, and a wig that was probably made from the hair of 100 shameful barbie dolls, you'd have to have the IQ of a cup of dark chocolate pudding to not see that Matt the Radar Technician was just Kylo Ren in a costume. 

If that was true, then General Hux was the biggest idiot in the galaxy.

Not only was he an idiot; he was a lovestruck idiot. Lovestruck for Kylo Ren, to be precise. The man occupied Hux's thoughts ever since he first laid eyes on him; he was sure he spent about 80% of the day thinking about the man's near-black eyes, staring up at him, his lips slightly parted as he gasped and clutched the sheets in utter ecstasy as Hux pressed their nude bodies together and –

Did nothing. Absolutely nothing sexual at all. Ahahahahahahahahahah... 

Ha.

But recently, his mind had wandered to… other things. Other people. Whether it was just a light touch in the cafeteria, a glimpse of him as they walked through a mutual hall, or even just the sound of his voice as he said a simple phrase, he found that the little things he did occupied Hux's thoughts more and more. It was actually getting kind of irritating at times; the general could barely do basic paperwork anymore without that damn radar technician running through his head. Sometimes Hux could just flip a table; it wasn't like this was some celebrity or authoritative figure like Kylo Ren that he was crushing on! This was a measly radar technician. This flea barely amounted to the dirt beneath Hux's boots. There were an inconceivable of “Matt the Radar Technician”'s roaming around Starkiller base and Hux knew that fact as well as he did his own name. Matt was absolutely nothing. Matt was infinitely replaceable. Matt was just a minor cog in the well-oiled machine that was the First Order.

Matt was cute as hell.

Damn it.

He knew as well as anyone that he didn't need more reasons to be thinking about Matt constantly, but lo and behold, the universe just kept on sending them. In the cafeteria on a morning otherwise like any other, his eyes drifted back and forth between the cornbread set out for everyone and Matt's ass, barely hidden by his brownish-gray pants. He found himself unconsciously biting his lip as he thought about how much he'd like to eat bot -

He shook his head and tore his eyes away, internally cursing his own gay thoughts. Quickly, he shuffled along and put the rest of his food on his plate, realizing that he had been holding up the line the entire time he had been ogling Matt. He sighed nervously and tried to clear his head. He was General Hux of the First Order, not some horny 13-year-old boy. He could handle this. Worst case scenario, there were always cold showers and thoughts of Supreme Leader Snoke in lingerie. 

He instinctively slowed his walking pace as Matt sat down at a table with some other stormtroopers. Quickly, he hid behind the soda machine, not-so-secretly eavesdropping on their conversation.

“A buddy of mine saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower, and he said that he had an 8-pack. That Kylo Ren was shredded,” Matt spoke in a monotone voice.

“What?! Your frie – Oof!” Hux barely knew how gotten to the seat next to Matt; one moment he was behind the soda machine, and the next he was nose-to-nose with the radar technician, a stormtrooper thoroughly knocked to the floor.

“You say you saw Kylo Ren in the shower?” Hux muttered, his light blue eyes focused on the man in front of him. 

Matt flinched, his face showing a dash of annoyance and a slightly larger dash of “I-was-never-trained-for this”.

“My… my friend. My friend saw Kylo Ren in the shower,” Matt clarified slowly, trying to remember his cover-up story.

“Your friend, you, whatever. Tell me more.”

“...More?”

“Did I stutter, radar techinician? Now as your superior officer, I order you to tell me more about Kylo Ren and his naked, dripping wet 8-pack.”

“Er, er….” Matt's words stumbled over each other as he slowly lost his composure, unsure of what to say.

“Kylo Ren doesn't have an 8-pack!” the knocked over stormtrooper called from the floor, still lying there. “Kylo Ren's a punk-ass bitch that probably weighs 30 pounds soaking wet under his little black dress! His friend's lying!” 

The storm trooper began to choke as Matt's hand opened up slightly.

“Oh, look, he's choking on food,” Matt said, with the same tone as someone would use to describe the weather. Raising his arm, Matt rose him by his neck until his toes barely touched the ground. 

“I've seen what's in your mind. And it! Is! Stupid!!” Matt slammed the storm trooper into the soda machine, sparks flying from it as the man's weight hit it full-force. The stormtrooper couldn't emit more than a choked cry as his throat was finally unhanded, his knees buckling and dropping his weight to the floor. The barely conscious stormtrooper slumped against the machine, heaving for every single breath as he rubbed his throat.

Hux did nothing but stare at the stormtrooper, his mouth hanging slightly open. Even as Matt got up to leave, he barely even moved. It took him a while to process that Matt the Radar Techinician - the measly little _radar technician_ \- was force-sensitive.

This was doing nothing to help with his creepy fantasies.

–

“Alright, just rewire the calcinator so I can go have my muffin.”

“So… pull this out?” Matt pulled a random part out of the tangled mess of wires.

“Does that look like the calcinator to you?!” Matt's supervisor sighed. “Look, I don't know why this is so hard for you to do, but you are a grown radar technician that should know how to do this and I am a woman that is getting increasingly angry without her muffin, so I'm gonna go get my muffin and check back on you in a couple minutes. And you better have that calcinator rewired and ready or I swear I am going to whop you upside the head until you remember how! Understand?!”

Matt sighed through his teeth. 

“Yes,” he said simply. Making a final noise of frustration, Matt's supervisor stomped off to go get her muffin. Looking around for any other people, Hux slipped onto the scene, looking down at Matt as his face was back in the mess of wires.

“Just casually walking by...” Hux repeated in his head. “H-Hey, Matt...” he stuttered out nervously, patting him twice on the butt and eliciting a noise of confusion and shock from the other man. Hux absolutely froze where he was after that, freaking out at a level that no general should ever be at. Now Matt had turned back to look at him, which didn't calm Hux down at all. The silence hung over the two like toxic smog, and Hux had to break it up somehow. 

“He-ey, M-Ma – agh!” He tried to repeat himself, but instead found himself suddenly pinned up against the wall by a phantom force. It wasn't long after that that Matt was out of the panel, silently gazing into Hux's eyes as his lips lingered too closely and yet much too far away. Hux tried to look angry, but found that his glare barely had the passion of an annoyed glance. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Hux growled half-heartedly. “As your superior officer, I order you to unhan...” Hux found himself trailing off as he slowly fell to Matt's unwavering ebony stare. “Unhand...” As his superior officer, he didn't want to be unhanded. No, he wanted Matt too badly for that. As his superior officer, he should have been in his pants ages ago.

“Fuck it.” With what wasn't being pinned down by the force, Hux closed the distance between them, capturing Matt's lips with a desire seemingly built up over centuries. He felt the force bonds disintegrate soon after, but they were soon replaced by Matt's hands pinning him up against the wall again. One hand made its way up Hux's shirt as Matt deepened the kiss, hardly surprised by the chain of events. As Hux involuntarily let out a whimper when Matt's other hand made its way to his ass, the “radar technician” decided that enough was enough. He ripped the blonde wig off his head, throwing it to the ground in a flurry of passion and urgency.

“R-Ren?” Hux murmured out, a proper breath evading him. “You're Matt the radar technician?”

“By what's running through your head, you don't seem to mind at all, do you?” Kylo shot back, his voice low and husky.

Hux's breath caught in his throat. He was never sure on the specifics of Ren's powers; he had forgotten that telepathy was one of them.

“Do you?” Kylo growled again, groping Hux's ass and eliciting a surprised squeal out of him.

“N-no!” Hux moaned. So many lascivious thoughts of what could happen next were running through his head and he could feel Kylo looking through each and every one. 

“Wonderful,” Kylo muttered, trailing kisses down from his jaw. Feeling the force tighten around his waist, Hux knew he would be powerless to stop now; good thing he didn't intend to anytime soon.

“Alright, Matt, I've eaten my muffin!” Hux and Kylo both froze up as they heard the voice of Matt's supervisor approaching the two. Kylo temporarily removed himself from Hux's panting, aroused self, kicking the blonde wig into the manhole with the unrewired calcinator and quickly throwing his orange vest into it soon after. Matt's supervisor rounded the corner and stopped in her tracks when she found that Matt had mysteriously disappeared. 

“...Where's Matt?” the supervisor asked.

“Ha, aaaa, I have,,,,,, no idea,,” Hux managed to pant, nerves overtaking him again.

“He fell in the manhole,” Kylo explained, expressionlessly. 

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“He fell _in the manhole?_ ”

“It was incredibly tragic.”

Matt's supervisor looked to a lone stormtrooper guarding the doorway. The stormtrooper shuffled nervously and looked away from Kylo and Hux, completely overlooked during the make-out scene. “Did he fall in the hole?” the supervisor asked.

“Yes, he did,” Phasma answered, walking through behind the supervisor. “He totally fell in the hole.”

The supervisor sighed. “Well, I'm not very surprised, honestly. That damn calcinator probably could have been a better radar technician than he was." Kylo resisted the urge to force-choke the supervisor and throw her into a wall. "I'm gonna go to the break room.” The supervisor turned the corner again, leaving the room with a groan. Once she got far enough down the hall, Phasma looked back towards Kylo and Hux, giving them a thumbs-up.

Kylo simply gave her an expressionless thumbs-up back, even if Hux blushed and hid his face in his hands.


End file.
